Sunday 22 January 2012

Yogi the Orangutan vs. Pedro the Tiger

What a day in the wrestling world! The two arch rivals Yogi the Orangutan - a German reared in Berlin and famed for his flexibility and endurance - and Spanish Pedro, with his handsome demeanour, smooth talking style with the ladies and claws tougher than steel nails, are going to clash once more.
For many months Yogi has been consigned to second place, he has cowered beneath the bed but he hasn't been lazy, he has trained hard, refined his technique - the crowd all have eyes for the underdog today as he makes his way to the mattress soft training ring. You would think the soft ground makes it easier for our dogged contestants, but in fact, it just makes balance and core strength a very key component to this fight.
With his many years of yoga training, you would think Yogi a shoe in for winner every time. But his long limbs fail him. The flail around and Pedro's stouter body has always fared him well in previous fights.
They're waiting for the ref, pumped and eager to begin the first round.
She arrives, her red fair falling about her shoulders, they both draw a breath as she enters the ring.
Round one has begun!
The pair stalk around each other, Yogi on his knuckles, Pedro's lean powerful shoulder muscles working. Yogi makes the first blow, tossing Pedro towards the wall of the ring. Here he collapses with a thud.  But he's up again, takes another blow from Yogi. This is not a good start for Pedro, has he become cocky with his previous wins? And Yogi has him round the waist, but Pedro is fighting back, he has Yogi off him, has whacked him hard in the face with a claw - that must've hurrrrt. And another whack from Pedro, throwing Yogi almost clear out of the ring! After a great start Yogi is suffering now. Can he hold on for round two?
The ref signals the end of the round by rolling into position for round two. The pair retire to their seperate ends of the ring. Yogi can barely hide his frustration for coming in too fast. Pedro is worried, he shouldn't have allowed his opponent such an open hit straight away.
Round two has begun!
The two storm towards each other with such ferocity! There's no hesitation this time, no sizing each other up - oh look at that blow from Yogi straight to Pedro's chest. Pedro wastes no time in retaliation. Oh, this is a close match! Pedro's stout body is once again faring him well but the strength in the long limbs from Yogi is incredible - how can Pedro fight when Yogi has him all wrapped up in his arms and legs? Just one playful smack from Yogi's giant hand would kill a human man. But don't underestimate the strength of Pedro's teeth and claws, he could rip Yogi's chest apart if Yogi drops his defence for just one second...
And there's the end of round two!
This is a match that could go on all night. Actually, it does. Every night.
For Yogi and Pedro are teddys that sit on the bed pillow of a woman in her 20's. (Apart from when the boy stays, they they are safely tucked away under the bed.)
Every night they battle to retain pole position on her bed. If the woman had any idea this was occuring next to her flame haired head while she slept she would be outraged. But she has no clue, she sleeps soundly as they wrestle away. The one or two times she has awoken and seen them, she has put it down to yet another odd dream.

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