Bandeaus and bags

Usually strapless is something I tend to avoid. Unless of course the strapless item is highly structured and can keep my boobs in place.

For the summery sweetheart jersey bandeau this is so never the case. But I do think they are so cute and fifties. Very useful in the summer too, go with everything.

Soooo, I propose something that could be considered totally classless but I honestly think adds to the fifties take on the summer bandeau. Black bandeau, black not strapless bra, black nurse style belt. Trashy I do not think. Worn well with curls and red lips the exposed bra straps create a neckline that is totally fifties starlet. (N.B this does not work on white or light coloured clothes, now that is trashy.) You can currently pick up a a black bandeau in Miss Selfridge for just a tenner. A new dress, just a tenner! That is recession fashion, oh yes.   

And while I was perusing Miss Selfridge I found this beautiful cream quilted slouchy handbag with long gold chain strap for £25. The material is so soft I could stroke it forever. And it goes with the purse discussed in my last post! How perfect. And how perfect are my housemates for buying it for me for my birthday?!   

Two loves of the week - quilted patent purses and Marilyn Monroe hair

I'm considering a style change. 

For nearly three years I have sported a bob, albeit a curly one.

I'm bored. And I'm fed up with the way my hair keeps flopping as of late. I feel shabby. I hate feeling shabby.

So I'm going to tootle down to my hairdressers at the weekend and see if she can turn me into a ginger Marilyn. It's pin curls a go go. 

So if you want to see me, get in your invites now, because from this weekend, I'm going to be far too busy spending hours pin curling my hair to actually see anyone. 

In keeping with the retro glamour, just look at this beautiful patent quilted cream purse I spied in Urban Outfitters. At £20 it's a little steep for a purse. But look how pretty! 

Apparently the twenties are back.

Some articles in the mail irritate me, you only have to read my somewhat aggrieved twitter posts today to see that. But the mail got it right when they featured this picture of Drew Barrymore attending the film premiere of her new movie Grey Gardens, looking all vintage like a silent movie star from the twenties. Simply De Vine. 

That stunning angel hair gown, her red lips, her loose waves, the beaded clutch, the netted veil - beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! 

If the roaring boom and bust twenties are back,  I am so all for it 

Excuse me while I go scour the high street for affordable rip offs. 

Gok: I love him, I hate him, then I love him again.

Which is pretty much how all my relationships with men are conducted...  

But I digress. After watching Gok Wan's all new Fashion Fix last night, I admit I find Gok this weird combination of adoring women in all shapes and sizes, being a friend, a counsellor, celebrating the female form in all it's natural glory, showing us how we can make the most of ourselves with the best make up and high street fashion, etc, etc, and then, hosing us down in a pool like a form of ritual humiliation. 

I simply cannot decide if he's the best thing to happen to womankind since the mini skirt or if, in fact, it's more extreme sexism sugar coated in pink empowerment. I mean, I'm sure there was a time being called a bootlicious babe was considered degrading. And why do we need a gay man to dress us up in tortuous high heels and uber skinny 'I can't breathe' belts to feel good anyway? Isn't this just how fashion has always been? Why is Gok seen as someone so revolutionary?   

But it's not really just the suggestion of sexism that kind of narks me so much, I mean, you just need to read my blog a bit to see that I quite like tortuous high heels and 'I can't breathe' belts. That I do believe dressing well is a sure fire way to feel good, powerful and shows self-respect.

What really pisses me off about Gok's hypercritical Fashion Fix, is the price.

In his catwalk off with the designer beauties, Gok is out to prove that high street can look as good as expensive designer. Not only does he lose (well, when you have spent £30,000, the clothes better look bloody good) he picks up a £39 plain white shirt and irons things onto it. Erm, does anyone else think that £39 for a white shirt is cheap? Would anyone else dare to ruin said shirt by ironing things onto it? When I buy white shirts I pick up two for £20 from Dotty P. 

When Gok pulls out Karen Millen saying this is high street I think: 'oh, god, I always considered her designer.' I was so proud of the £135 Karen Millen pinstripe shirt dress that hung in my wardrobe. I honestly considered it the closest I would ever get to D&G. This depresses me.

One of his 'high street bargain' outfits costs a whopping £300! For ONE outfit?! F@!K

In many ways I do commend Gok for trying. I commend him for being likeable, fun and full of a personality that makes others feel good. I do like his style, I have admittedly 'Goked up' an old dress to give it a new lease of life. But this is an old dress, that belonged to my sister before me. I would never 'Gok up' and potentially ruin something I have just spent my precious pounds on. How much does he think we all earn?! Is he aware of the recession?! I just don't think he goes far enough. When I buy clothes from high end high street like River Island and Zara I consider myself treated and usually feel a little guilty. Gok needs to start visiting Primark, New Look, Matalan! Only then can he say things like 'We have to stop shopping and start wearing,' and ranting on about all the clothes we waste. A £300 outfit a bargain. As if.   

I do think his capsule wardrobe is a good idea, 24 pieces that you can mix and match but, well, this is kind of how I and any normal woman who pays her own bills dresses anyway! Besides, I was bored of the wardrobe by the end of his one hour programme. 

And therein' lies Gok's dilemma. Nice clothes are expensive and fashionista types like myself need constant reinvention. A capsule wardrobe will keep me happy for oh, five minutes.  

We have three solutions: 

a) Stay poor, 

b) find a rich man/make loads of money 

c) get over your addiction. 

However, I can't see option c making very good telly. 

Miss Moss

In the ad shots for her new Spring Summer collection for Top Shop, I LOVED her tousled mega curl hair. 

Sadly, that's it. 

The 9th Kate Moss collection is nice... but it's rather bland and not particularly wearable. I do like the use of the Liberty prints, especially in the dress pictured, but, I'm not blown away. None of it is particularly fresh or original. In fact the floral dresses and playsuits have been hanging round the high street for a while. And some of it looks almost frumpy. 

I think what erks me about these collections is, not only the fact that none of them fit my figure - yes Kate, women have BOOBS and I can't wear a delicate rose dress with tiny weeny triangles that constitute a top - but the priceyness... a vest top costs double just because of her tag. And it works! Us foolish women buy it! Pah. I'm boycotting. (Although not just because of my principles, I'm also rather poverty stricken at present.)

Also, what is this about Top Shop opening up in New York? What?! According to an NYer I know people were queueing around the block to get in. Top Shop's website talks as if we should be excited about this move. Excited?! We're officially giving away our best kept secret. Sir Philip Green has betrayed us British girls by selling out to the Americans.

Doubt he cares, he's probably laughing all the way back to his diamond encrusted yacht in Monaco. 

 

How I love ladies named Lois...

As a kid Lois Lane was one of my favourite characters. She was the reason I decided to become a journalist. Now I have fallen in love with a different Lois, and this time she isn't fictional.

When Lois Winstone premiered the new classier Ann Summers gear in December I admit it totally passed me by.

But yesterday as I strolled on past Ann Summers, her picture caught my eye. She did look damn hot in her basque as she clung to an ornate bird cage. Very 1930's with an edgy bohemian twist.

So my shopping madness ensued as I walked inside. The sexiest pair of black stockings with a cute little red bow costing £8 were purchased along with two suspender belts, one red, one black, both £8 each.

I've decided I will no longer be a tight wearing woman. Stockings are much more hygenic, lady like and you don't get that awful seam under clothes or imprinted onto your stomach when you undress. It also makes you feel much more together and sexy when a man undresses you during an impromptu rendezvous.

Just a shame it's so god damn fiddly, is it worth sacrificing that extra ten minutes in bed to faff about with stockings and suspenders every morning before work?

Only time will tell if I can keep it up.